The crisp air greeting me at the door this morning reminded me that times, they are a-changing! But this year, the season coincides with closure I’ve been needing in my some areas of my life and the opening/widening of opportune doors I hadn’t considered until the past year. So, I’m letting go, yet I’m letting in and it feels fabulous.

Mainly, I’m letting my babies grow up.

Babies?

Well, yes. In less than a week, my baby turns twenty. In two days, he starts university. I think I could handle one or the other, but both in the same week seems a bit much. But, I guess it all depends on how you look at things, right? So, rather than mourn his childhood, I’m going to celebrate the beginning of his adulthood. I’m already so proud of the young man he’s become—I realize one day I’ll start to see all that he can be. I just can’t keep holding on and wishing he was still that little cherubic sage they places in my arms twenty years ago when I was hardly older than he is today.

My story babies.

I’m feeling the same way about my writing projects. It’s as though my stories and poems are growing up.

As I’ve mentioned, I started writing about two-and-a-half years ago. It was sort of like when I gave birth to Jesse. Sure, the kernel is on the inside and you sort of push it out into the universe and gawk because—wow, how did that come from me! And geesh, what do I do now? You sort of tiptoe around what you’ve birthed and cross your fingers that you know what to do when the time comes. And, if you have faith in yourself, you usually jut need to breathe through the most difficult parts—the tantrums, the spit-ups, the anguish and the sleepless nights where you worry about the child/character. I like to think my mother went through the same thing, and we all turned out alright, right Mom?

The following tips are for parenting and for writing.

Let’s let our children grow up and our stories grow out.

1. We’re all afraid of having an ugly baby. But sometimes we have ugly babies anyway. It’s easier with stories: What doesn’t look promising turns into something lovely. Other times, what looks like a sure-fire plot falls on its bum and refuses to get up. Of course, my son is and always has been adorable. Wouldn’t you agree?

Days before Jesse’s first birthday.

2. We tend to see only the best in your babies, and that’s okay. Or you focus on the worst that nobody else ever spots. Get over it. Put your baby on display  for others to see. (Or let the story sit in your drawer for a while, but pull it back out in due time!)

Let the good and the bad shine. There’s all the time in the world to mould your stories into shape. And your kid has all the potential in the world as well!

3. Babies are hard work. People see the final product and think we hit the jackpot. They have no idea.

Be proud. A lot of people don’t bother trying because the road is so long. Remember you’ve reaped the rewards along the way.

Circa 2001? 2002?

4. Your baby will keep you up at night. You’ll think about your baby when you’re supposed to be focussing on something else, but in the end it’ll be worth it. Trust me. You’ll look back one day and wonder what all the fuss and stress was about.

5. Keep your chin up and send  your baby out into the world. See how others react before you know where you’ve failed and where you’ve succeeded. There is always time to rework the parts that are lacking. Even when he’s twenty, your kid is listening and shape-shifting. He’ll be fine, too.

6. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes a community to write a story. You need a community for support. Join a group. Start a group. Have a lifeline. Anybody want to start a writing group?

7. You cannot bend your baby to your will. It is an extension of you, but has a mind of its own. Guide it, but don’t force it into submission. Let it surprise you as long as it isn’t compromising too many of your morals.

8. Not everybody likes that same kind of baby. Just like you can’t force your kid to be popular or force the other kids to want to include him at recess, you can’t force and editor to pick up your story-baby. If you are having trouble with rejection, here’s a link to last week’s blog!