I am a creative type. Anyone who knows me understands it’s an understatement when I say, “I’ve been pretty busy.”

The details of a typical day in “The Life of Rachel” can be rather dizzying. I blame my mother.

To me, being productive from morning until I drop my weary head upon my pillow seems normal. But I hear this’s not what normal is supposed to look like—go figure.

Months ago, my son texted me while I was at work. His text read something like this: “Do you think some people settle for average?” Poor kid—or lucky kid? I told him that in our family, people push themselves to extremes, but that isn’t the norm. Most people are happy to work 8 hours, get take-out or make a pot of wienies and KD, then watch sports on TV with a couple of beers or friends or both. Neither of us can understand how that would be satisfying—but I can imagine life would be a lot simpler that way!

A Mind-Sapping Summer to puts things into perspective

I had amazing plans for the summer.  I dreamed of getting my yard and house tidied, making the local gardeners envious, and finishing (starting?) editing my collection of short stories. Instead, I worked.

Working a full-time, daytime job this summer was an attempt to allow myself to let go of my Saturday contract and actually have 3-day weekends until the end of time. I could be a starving artist with a little nest fund,   in case I couldn’t quite pay my mortgage.

“What an easy life I’ll have then!” I soothed myself all summer when I returned home without an ounce of creativity or brain energy left to write anything intelligible. It’s true—though I managed some editing, I didn’t write anything all summer.

I learned an important lesson: Just because everyone else thinks my working evenings sucks, I think it’s fabulous. If I want to be a writer who actually writes, I must have a functioning brain when I put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard. 

I’ve got my list and I’m sticking to it

 Yeah right. If only it were that easy.

 I am rather fond of lists. They help keep me focused and calm me down when I’m feeling overwhelmed. Some of my characters also have lists that keep them on track.

 This summer, when my contract was almost up, I made myself a focus list for September-January. “If it isn’t on the list, you can’t do it!” I told myself.

 This is what the list says:

1.     Writing: blog, short stories, novel

2.     Reading: Goodreads challenge (I’m behind)l literary journals (huge stack on my coffee table and more on the way.)

3.     Pottery: classes, research, read, Pinterest ok

4.     Home: jackhammer cement pad, paint exterior window frames, new toilet, spare room (which is done now!), renovate basement bathroom

5.     Health: go back to walking and yoga

 Lovely list, huh? Life should be smooth-sailing and stress-free! But I rarely listen to anyone, right Mom?

Opportunity Comes in Multiples of Three

Or—why lists don’t always work

 Although my list looks doable, the gods sprinkle opportunity along my pathways. Some are there to test me–to see if they can deter me. Others are there as a reminder that there is more to life than a list. Let me explain.

1.     Work Life:

a.     Come mid-August, we were short-staffed. I’ve been working Saturdays—plus it’s a multi-level class I’ve never taught. It’s a lot of work, but I love the challenge. Of course, I’ll stay until they find my replacement. (The gods deterred me.)

b.     Bumped into a lady from the language centre where I used to teach French. She wants me back for an intensive class in the spring. I said maybe. (The gods are trying to deter me.)

c.      A colleague recommended me to another department. I was going to say yes (because it’s such a great opportunity), but when I started waking in the night with anxiety, I said “Maybe later this fall.”( I felt kind of proud. I beat the gods!)

2.       Social Life:

a.     Old friends who want to see me get an automatic yes. (I salute the gods for this.) For so many years, I was too busy for friends. I won’t be that person anymore. Friends hold us up when we are sinking—we must do the same for them. Plus it’s nice to gossip J 

b.     New friends are waiting to be snatched up all around us. Making new connections is vital. Our world is too fast-paced (at least mine is) and it’s important to reach out of your comfortable chaos and grab hold of that passing torpedo. You never know whose hand you might grasp. I’ve met fabulous new people this year and I can’t imagine my life before them. What if I hadn’t made time? (Thanks for looking after me, ye pesky gods!)

c.      Family is important, too. As a person who has always been “away” and busy, I sometimes forget that my family needs me. But they do. AND I NEED THEM, I just forget. My mother came this weekend for my son’s birthday, and although I was tired and a little cranky, amazing memories were made. (Thank God for the gods!)

3.     Writing Life:

a.     Volunteering is vital to the community/individuals/self. I became a member of the Saskatchewan Writers Guild almost a year ago. I have learned so much about how I can help fellow writers. I’ve mentioned before that I read for untethered. It feels good to help out at the magazine and is good for my development as a writer. I’m also volunteering at Word on the Street this month. You should come say hello and enjoy the day! (Again, kudos to the gods!)

b.     MOOCs, writing classes, symposiums—they come up all the time. It’s a great way to meet other writers and to push my writing boundaries. You can never learn too much, right? I’ve got a class starting next month and volunteered to be a beta reader for a new course on writing through grief and loss. I’m so excited! (This is the gods pushing me along.)

c.      Though I say I’m only going to work on my blogs, short stories and novel, when a memoir piece or a poem screams at me, I can’t say no. I must write what wants to be written. I don’t think this has anything to do with the gods at all–it’s just how my brain works.  🙂

About that list…

And that’s just some of what goes on beyond the list. Do I ever get tired? Of course I do. Do I ever want to quit? When I’m overtired I might, but then I forget about wanting to quit as soon as I get a good night’s sleep.

 If you’re anything like me, rip up that list or leave space to add more.

More for the Creatives out there

A few lovely posts that might help you understand yourself a little better—or at least understand me!

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/creativity-habits_n_4859769

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/20-signs-youre-creative-person.html